Why Talking Politics Is America's Most Feared Pastime

PROVO, Utah, March 2, 2020 /PRNewswire/ -- In 2020, we may gain a new president, but we'll also lose more friends. A new survey by VitalSmarts, home of Crucial Conversations Training, shows an alarming and increasing trend of hurtful trash-talking politics among coworkers and friends. Specifically, more than 55 percent report being in a political discussion where they were either the recipient or the initiator of verbal attacks, insults or name-calling – up from 41 percent who said the same thing in 2016.

The February study of 1060 adults shows the fallout of these violent discussions has also gotten more severe. Back in 2016, 42 percent said they'd had a political discussion hurt a relationship. Now, nearly 3 out of 4 people (71 percent) say a political discussion has hurt a relationship, and 1 in 4 (23 percent) say the relationship has never fully recovered. 

These toxic talks not only destroy friendships, but they also impact other key behaviors. As a result of a political discussion:

• 69 percent lost respect for a person
• 57 percent unfriended someone from social media
• 38 percent avoided people in the hallway or social situations
• 23 percent dropped a friend
• 18 percent avoided holidays with some relatives
• 17 percent declined party or dinner invitations

And if those results aren't bad enough, some respondents reported they left a job, moved homes, or even got a divorce as a result of a political discussion! The data also explains why when it comes to talking politics, most people would simply rather not. Even in 2016, 71 percent said they'd rather avoid discussing politics altogether. And according to researchers, things are only going from bad to worse.

"In the past four years, families and friendships have been torn apart by political discussions," said Joseph Grenny, author of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations. "Clearly, we lack the skills to seek mutual purposes or respectfully disagree. In fact, the data shows that while 61 percent had political discussions that went 'surprisingly well' four years ago, only 29 percent can make that same claim today. That is more than a 50 percent reduction in respectful and productive dialogue about our nation's leadership."

And yet, Grenny says it is possible to successfully discuss politics and keep your friends. Successful dialogue is less about whether or not you agree or disagree on issues or candidates, and more about how you actually share your opinion.

"Even if you agree with people, but do so in a way that is defensive, posturing or aggressive, it decreases the likelihood they'll respect you or the outcome will be amiable," says Grenny. "However, if you can express your opinion skillfully you can associate with anyone. Ultimately, the key to successful dialogue is to make it safe for others to not only hear you, but to share their own ideas."

Grenny recommends four simple skills for making it safe to have crucial conversations about politics—skills that will help you strengthen rather than sever relationships.

Four Simple Skills for Sharing Your Political Opinion:

About VitalSmarts: Named a Top 20 Leadership Training Company, VitalSmarts is home to the award-winning Crucial Conversations®, Crucial Accountability®, Getting Things Done®, The Power of Habit®, and Influencer Training®, and New York Times best-selling books of the same titles. VitalSmarts has consulted with more than 300 of the Fortune 500 companies and trained more than 2 million people worldwide. www.vitalsmarts.com

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SOURCE VitalSmarts